Because of cold, cloudy and rainy weather nowadays I feel somehow gloomy, too. I was up to take photos from the furniture of birthday calendar but I should delay it till a better, brighter day.
Another ‘art cards in frame’ is going to be presented with 4 cards from series ‘flower’.
I think, I’m gonna paint the frame with dark brown color..it looks much classy but also modern.;)
I rearranged my shop page a little bit, oh boy, I really hope that some day some body would know how hard I try and try again to bring some response and reaction to my stores.
*kind of miscellaneous
Recently I came to the blog of an artist and illustrator, Geninne D Zlatkis, living in Mexico and I was soon very fond of her fabulous illustrations, crafts, her plants and dog, family, house and just everything around her life.
I’ve learned how she go around with water color painting, how she draws, how she paints and through her site I’ve met the site envelop and from her activities I aroused my old interest in making stemples, it can be my next experimental discover for the birthday card project. And yesterday I was wandering again, half happily half envious, in her blog and clicked the very first blog posts from her, they began since 2005. No need to mention that her drawings have been developed so opulent and wonderful in those 5,6 years but about what I was really impressed, every friday she blogged a new, fresh illustration from her. And these were not only some looking good and pretty illustrations but full of imaginations, colors, inspirations and emotions.
I couldn’t keep my eyes away from her blog and in my thought I was going back and back to the time as I first started to be an artist..oh, my goodness, it was really hard time for me but sometimes I miss these banned years of my life. Then it was full of power to make something new by myself and it didn’t matter if this something gonna work out or make money to live on. And now I can’t even have curiosity about new thing, before I know that I can invest for it. I’ve lost the fun and energy taking photos of my daily life, from my kitchen. I’m remained with my old drawings and struggling to sell these drawings without knowing if I could.
I had to fight and learn with myself to accept the reality of life and find a compromise between my dream and the reality. And as a compromise what I’m doing and living now is not bad at all. But I really miss my virgin mind and courage from that time.
I got to think what’s wrong with me now, Actually I’m happy and doing fine. I have my safety and I have works to do, But I feel so often foredoomed whatever I do. I mean, why can she live on whatever she makes or draws and why does her life look so full of inspirations and relaxed? Does she show only the bright side of her life? Does she know special tips for marketing her own drawings? Does her day more than 24 hours, like 30 or 36 hours??
Maybe I’m expecting too much and too early for some results or yes, I’m too foul to work on it harder and continually, at least she had produced every week one or two finished art works and I do only when I have to…
or maybe I’m too uncertain to believe in me..probably all of them are true.
So, you know what? I want to be born new and refresh myself from my stubborn fear to fail. Watch out, it’s gonna be a long, long way running.