Warrior

As my therapist asked me, what would describe me the best for now, with no hesitation, in my head there was only one word coming up. Krieger. Warrior in German.

I never wished to be a warrior, no, not even in fantasy. Maybe that’s why I was so hard fighting against me to not be a warrior?!🤷‍♀️ but I found by myself, I was through whole my life on the battle, fighting or more struggling for emotions, for achievements, for residence permit in Germany. And it was so frightening, because I should not fail, I should never commit any failure, I must go on, show up stronger and better, no one should think that I’m unhappy. No one should believe, I am doing not well. No one should see how scary and desperate I feel to stand on my feet. Gee, how helpless I was. Even now I feel so much pity to my younger self.🤦‍♀️

I failed after all. I was, am and will be a warrior, not because I was fighting, but I am able to confront with illusions, to see beyond and to choose happiness for myself.

The last question from the therapist was, how would I like to live from now on. Like a pilgrim, I answered also without thinking at all. ❤