2020.love

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Dear my sons,
I would like to tell you about ‘one as whole’ now, what I couldn’t understand till just right before. For me, human was the last creature, I would see as ‘whole’. But every yogis say that, you are whole, you are OK, you are enough and so on.

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Mind science from Budokon gave me kind of turning point of thinking. I am not my thoughts, I am not my mind. I am not my feelings. Separation. It wasn’t about to answer ‘who’ i am. Only knowing about what I am not, made me clearly to see, to come together within me – body, mind, soul. My weakness, my strength, my happiness, my sadness, my sorrow, my joy, my abilities, my dreams..they were and are all there, and this is life. Altogether.

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I was and am never complete and far from perfect, though that’s beyond of me. And I don’t have to strive to get there, to be better, to near the perfection. I started to accept me as I am.

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We are taught to be kind and gentle to others, before we learn about what we are/what we are not. We are then living in unawareness, unconsciousness. It means, we don’t know exactly how to love ourselves. We saw from parents, society, schools, economy, politics, history, how the love works or should work. Meeting someone, falling in love, founding family, having children, working for carriers, building societies, presenting in social media, etc. I was learned to be a good woman, before I know about human. I was raised to be a good mother, before I think if I want it or not. Is this for my happiness or is it a pattern to maintain this world, without knowing self-love or self-care.

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Love, for me, doesn’t look like those general appearance. Biological instinct is only a fact, not a foundation for love. We tend to find another, because we didn’t accept us as the whole. We give and take close emotions to some special people and believe, finally have found someone who make us fulfilled and happy. But this someone is not to fill our missing places in our heart, which only exist in our head and in our mind.

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Because we are already perfect as we are, when if there’s someone special , then they are to evolve ourselves, to expand our life’s horizon out to the world, but not to isolate or stop from the self-development which can grow out of the relationship which often promise us the comfortable security to live in a society.

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We know so well, what makes us happy. Falling in love with someone is definitely one of the most wonderful experiences. But soon or later we confront with own problems. Problem that we don’t know exactly what we want. Because we are required to choose this or that. Nobody wants to loose or to fail. Knowing what you want means, recognising who you are. It needs lots of courage and strength. You should be brutally honest and faithful to yourself.

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Love itself is so powerful and extraordinary, it can multiply its amount and area to double, tripple, even more! it’s like never ending fountain. It heals and shines everywhere. Love won’t stop nor bother you or your way. It hurts of course, when you found someone you really like, but somehow it doesn’t work with her as you wish…but love is still there, you know? That’s the love. It feels happy, if you have someone to share this love with you, but it’s also fine and grateful, even if you are not bound with one special person, because you still have the love for you and that’s more than enough what we all need, what this world desperately needs.

With full of love, your mother
March, 2020

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